ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
