Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
