He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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