I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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