yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ok first of all what the fuck
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
