I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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