it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize