i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
