Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
