Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
