i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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