So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
