Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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