Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize