Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
