just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
