Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
