My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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