Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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