hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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