About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
