we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize