There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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