you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Help. Why am I so naked?
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