I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
