We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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