But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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