i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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