you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
