Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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