please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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