i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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