This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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