Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
