sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
