i need an iv and a liver transplant
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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