The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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