jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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