hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
