Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.