Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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