you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
