I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
