to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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