Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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