spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Randomize
