9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Walk of Shame today included voting.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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