Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
