i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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