They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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