**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
