yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
