omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
