The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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