Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Randomize
