I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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