Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
