All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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